Lets hit this one chronologically today, so that way I'm not skipping around while I'm playing with job search sites in the background and listening to a kick as dance playlist.
From the start:
At the end of August, my lease came to an end. In a flurry of liquor boxes, literally four nights of no sleep, over a hundred dollars in EXTRA charges from Uhaul, and a tearful parting with my kitty, I moved out of my apartment. Now I am pretty sure I have belongings spread to both ends of the east coast (that's me being dramatic, it's really just Maine to Virginia).
When Philadelphia officially fell through as an option, my aunt and family opened their homes and hearts to both me and my belongings. So, excepting lord knows how much teasing about how many pairs of shoes, suitcases/rubbermates full of clothes, and the 6+ 18gal rubbermates full of books that I have, we've been welcomed with open arms. However, my time in Virginia is visits. I think I've visited more in the last month than I did last year all together. That's kind of sad, because it's been so nice to be able to spend so much time with my family these days.
Visit 1: chill with Gram and Grandpa, drop off crystal and valuable/sentimental jewelry (not all, because obviously I'd find more when packing up the apartment).
Visit 2: last leg of packing up the apartment and getting out. Drove down with my friend Kevin and a packed Uhaul. Got him on a train back north and then passed out from total exhaustion. Chilled with the cousins the next morning then went to a biker bar for a charity lunch. Hmm. Lol. That's all the response I can give right now. Proved I have skillz and got the cousin off to school (she was totally gram of my awesomeness later, that made me feel really good). Repacked a most of my belongings. Liquor boxes are only acceptable forms of storage in Philly, where there are actual liquor stores to get free boxes from. Everywhere else, this is seen as weird. Then had to rush and grab some dinner before catching the train back to Philly.
Back in Philly: stayed at M's place. She was at Burning Man, along with a lot of people I know. I kept trying to send my spirit out there, but it didn't like being so far from me. (This can be taken seriously or as a joke, whichever makes you laugh more.) So I roomsat and helped her new housemates get settled in and figure out some hell of a subletter issue that was going down. Also helped with trash schedules and dishwashers, aren't I awesome.
So while everyone was watching the man burn, there was a party up in New York called Stranded. It was styled with an old early part of the 20th century oriental theme. Very interesting. Made me think a lot of Night Market, which I went to back in early May, also in New York. I think the idea worked in my head better this time because I'd been drinking in the car the whole way up and was definitely feeling the spirit of the night. Also, a floor covered in rose petals and then having a rose petal fight is pretty freaking awesome, but sadly they need to be cleaned up before they get gross and sticky. Lack of puddle was saddening. Concrete sucks as a surface for sitting.
Visit to VA #3: the next weekend I left M's and caught the 4:30 train heading south, getting into town in time for breakfast. Being ensconced in the welcoming arms of families and their homes is incredibly comforting. Staying at my aunt's house is like being part of that traditional family that I didn't really have growing up. While she's more like my big sister than a parent, my cousins are also like younger siblings, which they've accepted and the younger set out to teach me what it's like having a little sister. I've learned that my superior tickling skillz and learned anti-ticklishness are very useful at winning every time. :) Cooked dinner for the grandparents both times I stayed there and enjoyed knowing that I'm still pretty good at cooking my fav recipes from memory even though it's been a while. Went on a really awesome motorcycle ride with my uncle for his birthday. We went along part of Sky Line Drive over in the Shenandoah range. Aramark made Yingling the official beer (by not serving anything else). I liked that.
Of course there was some bad stuff. Family drama, other family drama, not-mine drama, and dropping my phone in the toilet at the restaurant we stopped at for breakfast when I got into town. My aunt takes pleasure in making me tell people why my phone died. Not even kidding. It started to survive then gave up and died. So now I have a crazy new LG cosmos and really suck at using the keyboard with any proficiency, and can't manage to get the front pad to recognize T9 as its default. The family drama stuff is mostly tied to me growing up and how that works for other people that it apparently doesn't really work for. Le sigh. I was glad to be able to be there as a shoulder and an ear for the not-mine drama and hope that it was appreciated by the parties involved, but there hasn't been a post-mortem yet, so that's up in the air.
Back to Philly (date, this past Sunday, sept 19th?):
Staying with my friend Justin, who's roommate is being really cool. I lucked out and work sent me home with a million sandwiches on Monday, so I was able to be like "oh hey, brought y'all foodz".
So all of the above was mostly family.
This is kind of couch surfing, but also life and friends, because mine are both pretty awesome (if not a wee bit stressful from circumstances):
On the whole, the idea of relying on others for a roof over my head bothers me. I've been incredibly independent over the last few years. While I have obviously needed help from my family, and never turned down money, because being a college student is hard on the pockets, I've never accepted the help without feeling incredibly guilty. Getting to college made me feel like I should be able to handle things on my own, which is kind of retarded thinking, I know, but really has been a strong part of who I've been as I've become the adult I supposedly am. However, as my aunt told me last week, it is about time I learn to accept a bit of help while I get myself on my own two feet.
In that vein, I have some amazing friends. It's been a huge change being around people in a living situation. I had a studio for two years, so way different. However, it's absolutely awesome. I'm definitely back to seriously considering trying to make sure to have a roommate situation once I finally get settled. I appreciate beyond belief the opening of homes from my friends, and am definitely trying to contribute positive things with my presence.
At the same time, there's also the concept of seeing when a welcome is worn, and is something I'm trying to be extremely conscious of. As with any relationship, communication is key! With this help, I am still welcome when I show up with food offerings over on Osage for some chill hangout time or to pick up something else I managed to forget (could really go for some of those vegetarian chick 'n nuggets, in that freezer on the other side of the city, or my rum).
Rule to remember: if you're going to forget a whole bag of European chocolate, hide cupcakes behind it so that when you call begging that no one eats the chocolate, you can point out the cupcakes as substitute.
Job search:
Oh hai, I gotta do that. Oops. Got a little caught up in all that spending time with the family that I kind of lost track of the whole thing that's currently going down: my eventual move to New York.
Random thoughts:
I really hope that life when I get to New York is as sweet as it is right now. There's all these things that bother me, but at the same time, any given night I can go hang out with people I love and have a kicking time. Actually, every given night I do go hangout with people I love. Except Monday, but I was bone tired Monday, and had to find yogurt (thanks World Soy, Co. for being the only company to make a 24oz container of soy yogurt found in Philly...Silk, you don't count, your yogurt is weird).
Family, in case you're reading: hanging out doesn't mean drinking. I know there are legit fears in that, and don't think for a second that I don't feel like tempting the genetic fates, especially since being native american makes things even more precarious.
Also, if I've seemed a little off lately, my dearest ones, I'm sorry. I've been trying to be a little bit more protective of myself and it's been detrimental to who I truly am. From here on out, I promise to just be me and live with that heart of mine on my sleeve open and giving. I am constantly the recipient of a limitless supply of love from my family and friends, and in return I have a never ending capacity to love others. I just need to remember this and make sure my theme song doesn't become Laura Veirs's "Pink Light" again. No matter how good a song it is.
Love y'all,
Sarah
Oh, how the night drags on, oh,
But I think I see a pink light and the coming of dawn.
Oh, how the night drags on, oh,
But in the fading of the constellations, I am growing strong.
In the fading of the constellations, I am growing strong.
